Love & Anxiety: Fangirl

Rainbow Rowell is quickly becoming my favorite Young Adult novelist. I read Eleanor and Park two years ago and was moved by her depiction of two teenage misfits who fall in love while dealing with abuse, poverty, and general teen anxt.

In Fangirl, Rowell sets the scene a little later--freshman year of college--but includes many of the same elements. The protagonist, Cath, suffers from social anxiety; she prefers the magical world of her fanfiction to reality. She reluctantly befriends her sassy roommate and ultimately falls in love with a "normal" boy who sees how cool she is behind her shy, geeky facade.

In a unique twist, Cath has a twin sister, Wren, who has a very different personality. The twins' mother abandoned them in third grade, and as Cath puts it, "Wren acted out, I acted in." While Cath lives off protein bars because she's embarrassed to ask where the dining hall is, Wren goes out and parties every night. While Cath struggles to even make eye contact with strangers, Wren becomes instant friends with her superficial, airhead roommate. It's refreshing to see a depiction of twins that is complex and nuanced; despite their differences, Cath and Wren are no Sweet Valley Twins.

Maybe I loved this book because I was an English major, and I spent my freshman year writing bad poetry and listening to earnest young people play guitars at coffee shops. I identified with Cath when she stayed up all night with a classmate, writing just for fun, at the expense of her homework. I enjoyed the descriptions of Lincoln, Nebraska too--a college town in the middle of farm country, much like my hometown of Iowa City.

Another aspect of this book that I think is really important to think about is its depiction of mental illness. Not only does Cath suffer from anxiety, her father is bipolar and has a manic breakdown about half way through the novel. Rowell depicts these illnesses with compassion, but also doesn't shy away from how difficult it can be to care for someone with a mental illness.

When their mother attempts to contact them, Wren is open to reconciliation, while Cath insists that they shouldn't see her because of the irreparable damage she did to their lives:

"Do you think I absorbed all the impact? That when Mom left, it hit my side of the car?" [...]
"But it didn't break me. Nothing can break me unless I let it."
"Do you think Dad let it? Do you think he chose to fall apart when she left?"
"Yes!" Wren was shouting now. "And I think he keeps choosing. I think you both do. You'd rather be broken than move on."
That did it. Now they were both crying, both shouting. Nobody wins until nobody wins, Cath thought.

This idea, that depression and anxiety are somehow a choice, is a misconception that is hard to dispel. I know there have been times when I haven't been as patient as I should have been with my own loved ones who suffer from mental illness. It's terrifying and frustrating and exhausting when someone you love is afraid to leave the house, unwilling to get out bed, or frantic in a bout of mania. It makes me wonder if Wren is willing to reconcile with her mother because she too has wanted to run away from her family. It couldn't have been easy to grow up always on edge, waiting for the next episode.

This topic is especially important in YA because anxiety and depression are definitely on the rise amongst teenagers today. (Click here for some statistics.) Parents, teachers, and counselors all struggle with the best way to help our students. As teachers, we don't want to our students to fall behind; our job is to help them reach their full academic potential! I often hear teachers complain about counselors and parents being "enablers," and maybe sometimes they are...but it's also their job to focus on the child's health and wellness above all else.

In the past five years or so, I've seen educators making a real effort to learn more about mental illness. We need to be vigilant about identifying students who need help and directing them to the proper resources. We need to maintain compassion, even when their circumstances are frustrating. We need to talk to all of our students about it until the stigma is no longer a barrier to getting help.

But I digress. Although Fangirl tackles the topic of mental illness, it is ultimately a book about young love, friendship, and sisterhood. Rowell has an uncanny ability to capture the swirling, confusing emotions of teenagers that will take you right back to that exciting-but-awkward time in your life. Read at your own risk!